


My Heart Is Buried Forever

by jackjones47



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Post series finale, okay this is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-18
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-08-31 17:32:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8587540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jackjones47/pseuds/jackjones47
Summary: Sameen Shaw will never love anyone anymore.





	1. One

Lionel Fusco was staring at the rookie standing before him “So, you are my new partner … “

“Uh … yes?” The boy was obviously uncomfortable, maybe for the close scrutiny, maybe because the man staring at him was a living legend: the Detective that had caught Simmons, the last and most hateful member of HR; and the man who had emerged from a suspect and dire situation as a winner, albeit with a minor stab wound. That last feat was shrouded in mystery, but the rumors were that Fusco was undercover in the world of organized crime, and had emerged as a winner.

“How old are you, kid?”

“Twenty-four, but … I am willing to learn, of course.”

Fusco grinned evilly; having a rookie as a partner can make you spend a lot of energy, because you must take your time to teach him stuff, but there are perks too; he pointed at a pile of paperwork on his desk, saying: “Do you see those files? First lesson, learn how to summarize: read them all, make a brief abstract for each of them, then you will expound to me.“

The boy sighed “Okay, boss.”

 

Fusco hadn’t even a second to relax that he heard a female voice from behind him “Detective Fusco, may I have a moment?”

He turned around and saw Doctor Campbell; she looked tired and paler than usual, and he could easily guess the reason why. “Doc, I don’t know … “

“Detective … Lionel, please … “ She was almost begging, and Fusco couldn’t help but pity her.

“Okay … Iris. Your office?”

She smiled, but it was decidedly a tight smile, and they reached her office.

 

“I wrote it in my report, Doc. The organized crime made an anonymous tip about Riley being the Man in the suit, the Captain believed it, and he handed us to three crooked cops that tried to kill both of us, but I survived … and John didn’t. Sorry.”

“I’ve read the report, but I don’t believe it, Lionel. The only things I believe for sure is that John is really dead, I … I feel that, and he kept telling me that such a thing was bound to happen. And I believe he was the Man in the suit. But I need to know who killed him, who were those all-seeing enemies he told me about, how he died, exactly … if he suffered; please.”

“Jeez, Doc, it really hurts to see you like this, but believe me when I say you are going to regret it if I tell you the truth; besides, you have people you care about, your parents, relatives, friends … you don’t want to put them in danger, now do you?”

“Of course not, but how would they be in danger if nobody knows about you informing me?”

“Yeah, secrecy is the most important thing” Fusco said with a bitter smile, getting up from his chair “Sadly, it’s also an impossible one nowadays. So sorry, doc.” And he got out of the office.

 

Iris had tailed Fusco until he had entered a small bar with his dog. She was surprised when she saw the same dog getting out with a woman instead. Fusco was still inside, and Iris decided to follow the woman from a safe distance, hoping there wasn’t a car waiting for her target somewhere, because she was afoot. 

Suddenly, Iris saw the woman stop; she wavered for a moment, then answered a pay phone; eventually, she hung up , stared at a surveillance camera and smiled. Iris was puzzled; was she crazy, maybe? Or maybe, she did know more than normal people do.

 

After a while Iris lost her in the crowd; was it because she wasn’t trained like a spy, or maybe the woman had realized that someone was tailing her? Before she could elaborate further, her phone buzzed, and a text from an unknown number appeared “If you want answers, turn left, walk fifty seconds, normal-paced, then get in the bar on your right”.

Iris mumble to herself “Who can this be?”

Another text followed “Put away that phone, please, and do what I said. Who I am is not of your concern now.”

Iris froze, then texted “How could you hear me?”

Another text “I read your lips.”

The good Doctor was a bit scared now, and tried to understand who was watching her, so she looked at the people around, but it seemed that all of them were minding their own business. Suddenly, a thought crossed her mind, and she gazed at a surveillance camera nearby; and she felt observed by … it?

Another buzz, another text “Please, no more lingering; my asset could get restless and leave.”

Sighing, Iris did as she had been told, entered the bar and saw the woman with the dog, sitting at a table in the back of the bar. The psychologist approached her, seeing she was Middle-Eastern, at least partially, and asked “May I?”, pointing at an empty chair. The woman nodded, so Iris sat down.

They stared at each other, trying to assess the person across the table. Iris shivered; the other woman’s eyes were harsh, cold, almost expressionless, and yet she could read pain in them; she understood immediately that she was dangerous. Her train of thoughts was interrupted, and validated, when the other said “I am Shaw; and yes, I could kill you with my bare hands in a second, and walk away without nobody noticing, and tonight I would sleep like a baby, because, you must know, I am a sociopath; but I won’t hurt you; on the contrary, I want to help.”

Nervously, Iris asked “How … and why?”

“I know how people like you behave: you want answers, what Lionel told you is not enough, and you will push until you have them … or get yourself killed.”

“I am not scared!” Iris answered, trying to sound braver than she was feeling. Also, this Shaw woman knew a lot about her, which made her uncomfortable.

Shaw chuckled “You don’t need to die; so, this is the deal: I give you the answers, and you stop looking for them; and, you promise you don’t spill anything; not that someone could believe you if you did, anyway.”

“Oh … so you trust me?”

“My … boss does, and that’s enough for me. I’ll let you know the big picture, of course, no need to go into details.”

“No, please, I want to know everything, especially about John … please.” Iris was almost begging now.

After an eyeroll and a few moments of silence, Shaw answered “Okay, my boss agrees on that too.”

Iris was elated “Oh … thank you, if you do this I will never forget, I’ll owe you a debt forever.”

Shaw mulled it over, then said “Actually, there is something you could do for me.”

“Anything! You only have to ask!”

“Mmh … you see, I have some … issues, and you must help me to … vent off my frustration. With discretion.”

Iris nodded, but was also puzzled; if this Shaw was a sociopath, which she was inclined to believe, as such unable to feel, so why did she need therapy? Oh well, she would discover soon. “Oh, okay, that can be arranged; you can come to my place, how many sessions do you think you need?”

Shaw smirked “No more than three; and that’s a rule I am not willing to break.”

“A rule? It’s the Doctor and not the patient that sets the rules, usually; but I guess I have to yield this time; so, when shall we begin?”

“Is your working day over?”

“Yes; you want to start immediately?”

“Why not? Besides, your place is a five minute walk from here.”

Iris sighed “You know a lot about me, huh?”

“A few things; but I only have to ask my boss to know a lot more.”

“I don’t understand; who is your boss?”

Shaw got up and said “The sooner we go, the sooner you’ll know anything.”


	2. Two

Iris’ house was nice, and Shaw liked it. They were in the living-room, sitting opposite each other on two armchairs. Shaw was sipping on a glass of bourbon, Iris had opted for water.

The agent of the Machine cleared her voice, then began “There will be four stages. First: you won’t believe me at all; second: I’ll give you conclusive evidence that what I say is true; third, you will believe me and will listen with great interest; fourth: you will regret for listening to me, and your world will have changed forever. I am saying this because you are still in time to give up.”

Iris nodded “Go on. I want to know.”

“Okay. My boss is an artificial intelligence, whose name is ‘the Machine’, which has access to the surveillance feeds of any kind all over the world, and can process them to identify any deviant behavior, like a terrorist threat or the intention to commit a murder. The Machine was built by a genius, Harold Finch, who gave it to the Government to protect the country, after nine eleven … are you okay?”

Iris was obviously distraught “Yes, or maybe not … this is disturbing to say the least … you said that your boss speaks to you … can a computer do that?“

“Well, it shouldn’t bother you so much, you are not supposed to believe it so soon … but yes, She can speak, She is a sentient and self-conscious being.”

“I am quite confident you are not lying to me … and sure as hell you are not feebleminded, but … can we jump to step two, just to remove any possible doubt that anything you are going to tell me is absolutely true?”

“Okay … ask me about anything that you did, or that happened to you, in the last twelve years, provided that there was some electronic device nearby with the capability of seeing it. An open laptop, a phone, a surveillance camera … ”

Iris thought about it for a moment, then asked “May 27, 2003, about four p. m.; what was I doing?”

After a moment, Shaw answered “You were in Times Square, talking with Abe Gleeson, and he kissed you for the first time.”

Iris was impressed, and asked another question, trying to hide the tremble in her voice “June 13, 2005, late morning … “

“You two were in your room; and you broke up.”

“How can you know that? There was no electronic device in my room … let me speak to this computer … “

After a moment, Shaw shrugged and gave Iris an earpiece; a female voice came out of it “You are skeptic, Iris; I don’t blame you, better safe than sorry.”

“You … you don’t sound like a computer, more like a real person.”

“Well, as Shaw tried to tell you, I am not a computer … I am an artificial intelligence.”

“How do you know I broke up with Abe that day? You didn’t … see, or hear us.”

“I saw a boy and a girl entering a room, and ten minutes after he left, with an angry face; two minutes more, and you left too, upset and teary-eyed; and you never met again; it’s not hard to understand what had happened … “

“Oh, so you are … intelligent?”

The voice huffed “Someone told you I am an artificial stupidity?”

“Oh, no, of course not … but God, you seem so real!”

“It’s because I am real, Iris, only, I am not human … yet … but I am trying.” And the voice chuckled.

Iris gave the earpiece back to Shaw; her hand was slightly trembling “It’s a beautiful voice. It’s also creepy, you know.”

The other woman shrugged “You get used to it, after a while.”

“I guess so; okay, now I am going to believe anything, so please go on.”

“Okay. Finch wanted to help the irrelevant numbers, I mean people that were in danger, so he hired a former CIA assassin, John Reese. Later, they hired another Government assassin: me.”

“John Reese was … ?”

“Yes, you knew him as John Riley; a lot of people knew him, indeed, with a nickname … “

“The man in the suit … “

“Yes; we were then joined by another person, a female former killer for hire and hacker, whom the Machine chose as Her interface.”

“Meaning what?”

“Simply that She gave us only Social Security numbers, whereas She talked to her.”

“The Machine trusted a criminal?”

“We, the agents of the Machine, we were all criminals, even if in different ways; and we chose to help people.” There was a slight tinge of anger in Shaw’s voice; she didn’t like that someone would speak that way of that other woman, apparently.

“Okay, sorry. Would you go on, please?” 

Shaw nodded “The Machine was built with a purpose: help people, make their lives better; but then another A.I. surfaced, whose aims were totally different: take control, be in charge. And most importantly, wipe away whomever could be an hindrance … its name was Samaritan. And it took the place the Machine previously had.”

“Oh, I remember the Northern Lights project … “

“Yes, that was the Machine, which was decommissioned because of the actions of a privacy terrorist group that was controlled by Decima, a corporation which developed Samaritan, only they didn’t know that, the morons. ” 

“Wait … those terrorists, they killed a lot of people in that Justice building, didn’t they?”

“No, it was Decima, or if you prefer Samaritan, since the A.I. was the real boss here. That bomb had a specific aim: to convince Government officials that their system was needed.”

“My God … so we have been ruled by a criminal artificial intelligence for … like two years?”

“Yeah, give or take.”

“And you and your friends were fighting against it. That’s what killed John too, I guess … “ Iris’ voice was sad.

“Yes, he was killed by Samaritan operatives while uploading a copy of the Machine to a satellite … do you remember that missile that hit that rooftop some weeks ago? He was there.”

“Jesus … and his body?”

“Nothing that could be retrieved, sadly; but … he wasn’t the only casualty.”

“Who else?”

“Root, that hacker woman I told you before. I … we were in love.”

“Oh, God, so sorry … I guess we have something in common then. We both lost someone in this fight. But, you said you are a sociopath, and now you say that you were in love … a bit contradictory, isn’t it?”

Shaw sighed “Maybe. But I am sure I will never love anyone anymore; my heart … is buried with her.” And she took her phone and showed her a photo.

Iris nodded “She was beautiful.”

Shaw said “You heard her voice too. When she died the Machine took it.”

“Oh … it must be hard for you, to hear it constantly.”

“It was, but I got used to it, and now it’s comforting.”

“And yet, you need my professional help to deal with this loss … “

“I wouldn’t call it professional, it might be perceived as insulting.”

Iris frowned “Didn’t you require my services as a psychologist?”

“I asked for a hand to vent off my frustration; well, both hands, probably, and mouth and tongue, and other body parts I won’t mention … “

Iris blushed “Wha … what? You want to have sex with me?”

“Actually, yes. But we can also talk later, so you can help me professionally too.”

Iris was stammering, clearly unsettled “Bu … but I never did … with a woman, I mean … I could never … I don’t know … God … “

Shaw shrugged “If you never had sex with a woman, how do you know you couldn’t? Besides, as they say, there is a first time for anything.”

Iris didn’t answer, staring at Shaw like a trapped mouse could stare at a very hungry cat.

Shaw sighed “Relax, Iris, I won’t hurt you, and I don’t want to force you either … listen, what if we go to the bedroom, undress, then you give me three minutes.”

“Three minutes for what?”

“Let’s say, to turn you on. If you don’t want, after three minutes I walk.”

Iris sighed, then nodded “O … okay, I feel like I owe you this one at least.”


	3. Three

Iris was naked in her bed, with an equally naked Shaw beside her, and after a few seconds she knew she was going to have her first sexual intercourse with a woman; she wasn’t going to reject Shaw. The reason was that she was already turned on, and as a psychologist she knew why … she was with a gorgeous woman who had undoubtedly killed many people, had saved the world, and now wanted to have sex with her, a humble doctor; what could be more … taboo? Fascinating? Morbid? She had thought she would have been able to rationalize such a primal drive, as a professional, but she failed miserably. 

She liked when Shaw’s hands caressed his bare skin, gasped when her hardened nipples were sucked, and moaned when Shaw’s tongue entered her mouth. Then the former operative backed away a bit and asked “Have you decided?”

“Yes, I … want this, Shaw.”

“Okay, then; only, please call me Sameen.” After that, Shaw began to lick her center, and said “Mmh, you taste good.” Then she penetrated her with her tongue, and Iris after a few moments came, screaming “Sameeeen, oh God, it’s so good.”

After that first orgasm, she had four other in the next two hours, and Shaw had three. At the end they were exhausted, lying side by side, but when Iris tried to hug her companion, Shaw said “I am not the cuddling type, Iris.”

“Really? Not even with her?”

“Let it go, please; she was … special; no offense, of course.”

“None taken; you know, I didn’t think I could ever do this, but I enjoyed it immensely.”

“Yeah, me too; but you remember what I told you about my rules?”

“Yes, three times at most; I had thought you meant therapy, not sex.”

“Sorry about that, I admit that I cheated … hope you won’t hold a grudge?”

“How could I? I have never felt so … good; and I have realized I am bisexual, I guess.”

“The point is, you understand why I set that rule, obviously.”

“You don’t want long-term relationships.”

“Yes; a partner tends to get affectionate, after a while. And when I leave for good, well, there is a lot of suffering.”

“But this didn’t happen with her … “

“She was … unique, and will always be.”

Iris nodded “So, we will meet twice after this, won’t we?”

“Twice. Right. If you are okay with that, of course.”

“I guess I am.”

They got dressed, then went to the living-room again, and Shaw told Iris about her love story with Root; after she had talked about the simulations, and the thousands times she had virtually killed herself not to hurt Root, the doctor nodded and said “I understand now why you said that you will never be able to love someone like you loved her.”

After some minutes of heavy silence, Shaw asked “Will I ever get over it, Iris? Or, will this pain haunt me for the rest of my life?”

Iris sighed “I don’t know, Sameen; normally, I should say that time heals every wound, but … the connection you had with Root was so strong, so unique, so different from everything you have experienced before … I don’t know; but I would like to help you.”

“Ok, Doc, thanks. I’ll call you, don’t try to contact me.” And she got up.

She was opening the entrance door, when Iris called “Wait, Sameen … “

Shaw raised an eyebrow interrogatively, and Iris said shyly “What about a kiss?”

Shaw frowned “Iris, you know I am not the romantic type, right? Sex is one thing, but … “

“I know, I know, sorry, forget I asked.”

But Shaw sighed, then shrugged, then smiled, and she lunged forward to lightly kiss the redhead psychologist. Then she said, before leaving “Take care, Iris.”

“You too, Sameen.”

 

Three weeks passed before Iris heard about Shaw again; she was beginning to think that maybe all this had been only a dream, a trick of her mind triggered by her concern for John’s fate; then, one evening, her phone rang. “Hello, Iris; ready for another session?”

“Oh … yes, I guess so.”

“Okay, six p. m., your place.” And Shaw hung up.

Iris’ heart was racing, and a idiotic grin was plastered on her face. God, it was about time! She had missed Shaw so much! The sex she had experienced the first time had been unexpectedly satisfying, and she had touched herself every night since, thinking about Shaw, imagining the female assassin caressing her skin, kissing her mouth and licking her pussy.

She had realized in horror that men didn’t attract her anymore, so she had tried with another woman she had met in a bar; it hadn’t been bad, but it couldn’t compare with her time with Shaw.

She had tried to figure out what had really happened to her, that is, why Sameen Shaw had become her obsession. Of course, she was beautiful, and a fascinating halo of mistery surrounded her; plus, she was very interesting from a professional point of view, given her awkwardness about feelings, which she had said she hadn’t, yet were undoubtedly present in her.

Still, all this didn’t explain why Iris was so excited, so eager to meet her. She had to rationalize, to keep calm; well, easier said than done.

 

When Iris opened the door the two women stared at each other for a long minute, then Shaw lunged forward and kissed Iris passionately.

The sex they had was even more satisfying than the former time, since they knew each other’s body better. When they were too exhausted, Iris asked to hold Shaw in her arms. Shaw sighed “Iris, this is not going to end well … “

“Sameen, please, I like you so much.”

“Are you falling in love with me, Doc?”

The psychologist was taken aback by the blunt question. “Why do you say that? I am only enjoying your presence in my bed.”

“You are a poor liar; I don’t blame you, you know, it’s not your fault. But I cannot love you back.”

“You said that to Root too, and yet … “

“You are not her, Iris. Nobody will ever take her place, neither you nor anyone else. This, I know for sure.”

Iris was feeling really miserable “So, you are not giving me a chance?”

“I would only hurt you. Which means, I am leaving now, and you won’t see me anymore.” Shaw said that matter-of-factly, without any anger.

“No, please! Three times, you said.”

“No more than three, I said. Listen, I like you too, and I would enjoy meeting you again, but it’s better this way; for you, I mean.”

Iris had teary eyes “God, it hurts.”

“It would hurt more the next time. Believe me, Doc.”

“Okay, Sameen … Shaw; I’ll try my best to forget you. I hope you won’t be mad at me.”

“It’s not your fault. But I cannot give you what I haven’t … as I said, my heart is buried with her.”

 

New York cemetery.

Shaw was standing before the stone 050313, a trowel in her right hand, a little black box in the left.

She looked around and saw that nobody was nearby, so she knelt down and began to dig a hole, about a feet deep; then she opened the box, drew a ring out of it, and put said ring into the ground; then she covered the hole again, making sure nobody could see that the soil had been moved. Then she got up and spoke.

“Do you think I cheated on you, Root?” As nobody obviously replied, she addressed the Machine “Please, talk to me as if You were her. She always said that You know us better than we know ourselves, and as sure as Hell you knew Root … so, please, say what she would have said. Be Root, only this time.”

After a moment came the answer “Okay, Sameen. No, I didn’t think you cheated on me; I know it was only sex, with Iris.”

Shaw nodded vigorously “Yes, yes! I needed it. But you know, Root, even the physical part wasn’t as good as it was with you, not even close. And I could never love anyone else.”

“I am not sure I am happy that you will have a life without love, Sameen.”

“You were, and always be, my only love, Root. Speaking of which … I bought an engagement ring, it’s buried with you … so I guess I am going to show how much you mean to me, by proposing to you.”

“Really, Sameen? God, I didn’t expect to hear this in my lifetime … I mean … whatever.”

“Shut up. Just answer this simple question: Samantha Groves, will you marry me?”

“Absolutely!”


End file.
